Hello?

Sorry Gar, my life has been hell.  Not sure if you knew this, but my mom is back in the hospital and as the eldest daughter, I get the lovely task of laundry and caregiving and finding a place to live and dealing with all the muckymucks in her life.  My dad's failing pretty rapidly as well, so I'm usually on for an hour or three a night, then I need sleep.  I've not seen Drach in a while, but Anj is pretty faithfully around.  he's also beta-ing a few other aps, and his work is wicked busy.  Ozzie's getting pretty happy over in Star Wars land, which, by the way, is an AWEsome game.

Bees are branching into a multi-game base and i'm researching new servers since Guildzilla feels like a noose.  We have a lot of folks playing multiple games together and there will soon be a Screaming Bees contingent in TOR, and I hear LoL is going to have a branch as well (i can't stand that game, blech!)

Sorry to hear about your parents Niika. I can relate. After my mother had her stroke it fell to me to help care for her. My stepfather ran off and my siblings were/are caught up in their own lives to spare some time for the woman that raised them. I lived with her and took care of her for about three years. She got well enough to mostly care for herself, but there are still things she needs help with. Thankfully she has found a good home care person that comes by three to four days out of the week to help her out now that I live four hours away from her. I still find that there are some things I still have the help out with. I willingly help her of course, she is my mother, but like you it fell on me because I'm the eldest in the family.

It's so hard.  I have to tell her this week that I can't do this any more, i'm afraid of falling apart.  i have constant migraines and my brothers are pretty emotionally unsupportative (one of them said that I need to stop focusing on ME so much... this, after my fourth trip to the hospital to do all her laundry due to frequent accidents, and I had to tell her I couldn't go since I had the stomach flu).  My mom's been so focused on all her belongings, her car (which she will never drive again), her apartment full of stuff (which she can't move into most facilities), and moving (she wants to go home and live alone again, and she can't really) and she keeps asking me to move back home and take care of her, and it's breaking my heart.

My dad is also in a home right now, wants to get out (he's in a dangerous elder care situation) but never EVER complains.  Asked him why, and he said after you've lived through a world war, there is no where to go but up.  I love his attitude.

Wow, sorry to hear about all that. What exactly is your mom dealing with, and your dad?

I'm afraid I don't have very good news myself.

After a year-long struggle with trying to recover our failing marriage, I finally left my wife last week. The first few days were brutal, but her unsettlingly cool demeanor throughout all of this has made my concern over 'us' fade, yet I become increasingly more concerned over how my son is handling it.

During this period of craziness I'm regrouping at my dad's place, which has been a whole 'nother stress in itself. After spending 6 days here it's become quite evident to me just how depressed he is, and how little he's recovered from the passing of my mom 5+ years ago.

In addition to protecting my son from the trauma of this split, I'm now also faced with the task of teaching my dad to live again.

Considering all the crap that's been happening in my life I've not had much time for posting, nor have I logged on much.

I do plan to be more active around here once things start to normalize a bit, but who knows when that will be.

Yikes! Sorry to hear that Gar. By "leave" are you meaning an actual divorce?

An actual divorce is a hard thing to go through, especially with children involved. Been through a divorce myself, thankfully no children were involved.

It's really tough emotionally for a long time. It'll by tough to do, but keep your chin up. I did and it brought me the wonderful woman I call my wife now.

rofl now i found it.

Has it really been a year?  I didn't realize - the time has flown.  I am glad you are focusing on your son, and how he's handling things.  Once I left my husband (my children chose to come with me to the safe house) I could see what kind of an impact he was making on them.  Five years later, it's still evident.  I really wish I had left him when they were little.  My daughter no longer remembers being tossed into the wood stove - twice - but her older brother still remembers to this day.  My ex, is still in la-la denial over it.  i've chosen not to dwell.  what happened, happened, and he's still their father, and he knows I will protect them with every inch of my life.

That said - is your father seeing a counselor?  Don't forget, you don't have to do it all.  Being the savior to everyone can get you in trouble too.

My mom had a massive stroke in April; we finally had to pull medical DPOA on Friday night, to get her into a skilled nursing facility. She keeps trying to check herself out and go home.  She's in a geriatric psych unit right now.  A lifetime of drinking, combined with the stroke, has tipped her over the edge of mental competency.  She's a genius, and very adept socially, so it's been stumping the medical team (each branch of her care states different things are going on, ti's very difficult to explain.  Alcoholics are adept liars)  

My dad had hip replacement surgery that was supposed to be routine, that screwed him all up and he's failing rapidly. he's in a nursing home and now completely unable to walk.  There is elder abuse going on, he spoke out, and is now being victimized.  this is happening very fast, and we are trying ot move him out too.

Hugs all around,

Niika