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May 29, 2010
Their was a discussion amongst the guild I'm in about people's hatred of the Night Elf race and someone posted this. It made me laugh so hard I thought I should share it here. Again, a warning to those who don't care for foul language, there is some in the post. The guild I'm in is mostly 16 and above, so we don't have a rule against using foul language.
Anyone ever notice how the Night Elves, when faced with important, world-changing decisions, INEVITABLY make the wrong ones? If it weren't for Night Elves and their screwups, I'd be inclined to think Azeroth in general would be a much nicer place.
Mistake 1: Destroying the Scepter of the Shifting Sands
Bronze Dragonflight: "Now that we've finally sealed away the nemesis of all Azeroth, here's a scepter should you need to break the seal and fight them again."
Bronze Dragonflight: "You dumb f*cker."
Mistake 2: Destroying the Well of Eternity
Queen Azshara: "Blahaharrrgh, I'm addicted to magic!"
Night Elves: "Well I guess that's cool."
Queen Azshara: "Blahahaharrrgh, I'm summoning demons!"
Night Elves: "Ok, that's not so cool."
Malfurion: "I've got an idea! Let's blow up the world!"
Tyrande: "Come on, that's your solution to everything."
Malfurion: "No it's not! By the way, hold this."
Tyrande: "Hey, this looks like a-"
Tyrande: "…dammit, Malfurion."
Mistake 3: Recreating the Well of Eternity, Then Leaving It There and Falling Asleep
Illidan: "Hey guys, now that we just got done blowing THAT up, I just made a new one!"
Night Elves: "You stupid f*cker."
Malfurion: "Illidan, you're under arrest for playing the devil rock music."
Illidan: "How wude!"
Malfurion: "Anyway, let's just plant a tree over top of this sucker and call it a day."
Tyrande: "Uh, what do you want us women to do, Mal honey?"
Malfurion: "You all stay awake and keep the stove warm in case we're hungry when we wake up. Oh, and don't go running off having fun with your friends or anything, I want you in the kitchen where you belong."
Mistake 4: Staying Asleep
Orcs: "FOR THE HORDE! And also the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzzzz"
Undead: "For the lich king! Also, again, the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzSNRKzzzzz"
Mistake 5: Picking a Fight with the Orcs
Night Elves: "WTF?! Orcs cutting down our trees? Gettem!"
Cenarius: "I'LL take the case!"
Night Elves: "WTF!!"
Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek
Mistake 6: Releasing Illidan
Tyrande: "We need help, gotta wake the druids up. Oh hey, Illidan! I'm sure 10,000 years of confinement has only rehabilitated him."
Tyrande: "…although I could be wrong."
Illidan: "OOGHRARGHghhh!" *runs off*
Mistake 7: Blowing up the World, AGAIN
Medivh: "Quit fighting you nubs! Archimonde is coming!"
Night Elves: "Oh crap you're right. Too late now!"
Malfurion: "Hey, I've got an idea!"
Mistake 8: Stopping Illidan from killing the Lich King
Malfurion: "OMG! Illidan's doing something crazy to Northrend! Gotta stop him!"
Maiev: "I'm kookoo for catching Illidan!" *trips Tyrande*
Tyrande: "Aiiee!" *falls into river*
Malfurion and Illidan: "I'LL take the case!"
Illidan: "So you see, I was trying to DESTROY THE MOST POWERFUL EVIL BEING IN AZEROTH."
Malfurion: "Oh, uh….. my bad."
Mistake 9: Building a new World Tree
Fandral: "Man, I miss immortality. Let's make a new world tree!"
Malfurion: "I don't think that's a good-"
Fandral: "STFU nub."
Fandral: "See? This place is great."
Malfurion: "I dunno, it smells kinda bad… and I think I just stepped in some ooze."
Fandral: "Yeah? Well if you don't like it, why don't you go get lost in the Emerald Dream for a few years?!"
Malfurion: "You know what?! I think I will!" *gets lost in the Emerald Dream*
Night Elves: *facepalm*
Rest of Alliance: "Remind me why we put up with these guys?"
Bronze Dragonflight: "Because you're all a bunch of dumb f*ckers."
July 3, 2010
that is hilarious, Tak, i laughed through the whole thing.
August 16, 2010
September 12, 2010
June 14, 2010
I've no bad feelings to the Night Elves I guess, and to be fair they are the major reasons for pushing back the Burning Legion twice. Sure, it's their own fault for the War of the Ancients story, but they handled it... With a daring move by Broxigar of course. (4 TEH HORDE!) The second time, when Archimonde attacks the World Tree, it was Malfurion's summoning of the Wisps that lead to the once again down fall of the invasion. Not to mention Malfurion and Broll are a huge reason the "Emerald Nightmare" was defeated.
OK scratch that, Malfurion > Night Elves.
I'm surprised Malfurion hasn't teamed up with Thrall for the Deathwing thing. (I know, I know, he's at Mt. Hyjal)
Artist formerly known as Sunrift.
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